What fucking Rhodes Scholar designed NY City subway turnstiles? Throngs of latte chugging late-for-something maniacs entering and leaving the train platform through the same exact spinning dull metal lawnmower blade? At busy times you are forced to head fake, deke out, or create a diversion to outwit the person on the other side just to get through. If you are entering- you have to swipe your Metro card with deadly precision and speed or you will never beat the outgoing flow of humanity- unmired by the requisite card swipe. The non-differentiated portals lead to the inevitable “Straphanger Stand off”- with one person poised to swipe on one side with a flow of opposing traffic never giving them the opportunity to get in- like Boston drivers. This most always leads to one party calling the other a cocksucker, and someone moving to an easier to negotiate threshold. A slight mistiming with your counterpart on the opposing side and it’s a loss of fare, mid turnstile collision, or worse. The other day I bobbed when I should have weaved and almost lost a reproductive organ. I’m taking the bus.