Tom Romita

Writer. Director. Frustrated Human.

Tom has been successfully (not) writing “unscripted” television shows for almost twenty years.  From the romantic comedy of “Blind Date” and “Matched in Manhattan,” to the family drama of “Wife Swap” and “Shalom in the Home,” to the workplace shenanigans of “Counting Cars” and “New York Ink,” Tom has crafted stories to the delight of millions of viewers over the years.  He’s reached a level of success that has allowed him to live in the city he loves, New York, and secure a wife and daughter so beautiful, people think he’s adopted.  But now, he’s doing it the right way. He’s writing stuff down. Right here. Please enjoy his website, and feel free to share, Tweet or contact Tom directly to say hi, exchange ideas, or introduce him to really rich people who might want to produce his movies.

“NICE BREASTS”

So if a girl wears this out to a bar and you walk up to her and say “Nice breasts,” what is likely to happen?

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If you survive the stiletto strike to the groin, three retired NFL linemen will swiftly escort you from the bar by your tongue, and you would deserve every bit of agony and embarrassment, right?

Why is this? Because it’s rude. Ok, but why? When you say something positive about someone- that’s a compliment isn’t it? If you had said, “Those are some ugly breasts,” that would certainly be rude and universally frowned upon because you are stating an opinion that will no doubt hurt the recipient’s feelings. “Nice breasts” is an opinion stated, intended to make the recipient feel good. So why is a painful counterattack the appropriate response? If you had said to our Snooki in training “Nice shoes, hair, fingernails, hands, arms, or eyes”, the expected response is a pleasant “Thank you.” Why does complimenting some specific body part (or parts) open you to verbal and physical violence?

I know, I know, it’s because we’re talking about a sexual organ, and its creepy to say anything about someone’s private parts. But, when you wear this out of the house

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your private parts are no longer private. You are doing everything the law allows to insure their publicity. They are unquestionably out in public, by your own intention, as you chose to don a top that puts them on full display. You have reached an all new level of naïve if you think that wearing something like this

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is not going to cause men to look at what you are offering up for their perusal.

So my point is this; no matter what the air temperature, season, occasion, venue, or latest trend you are following, YOU decided to show off your private parts to the public. You did so because you consider them attractive. If you are correct, they will attract men’s attention. Men who think they are worthy of compliments. You should not be allowed to retaliate when the target of your attractive efforts agrees with your self assessment and expresses his appreciation. If you don’t want your attractive private parts to receive public accolades- cover them up. Or the next time a guy compliments them, instead of kicking him in the balls, feel free to compliment them.