Interior. Night. Nice apartment somewhere on the Upper West Side of Manhattan.
A young-man in his 20s enters room with overnight bag, greeted by two 50 something parents.
Mom: Hello Michael, oh its so good to see you
Dad: Hey big guy
Michael: Hi guys, good to see you too.
Mom: How are things in God’s country?
Dad: Making friends? Breaking hearts ha ha?
Michael: Great, really great. Guys there’s something I want to talk to you about.
Mom: What is it Michael?
Dad: Yeah son, what is it?
Micheal: Come here- sit down. It’s like, well, now that I’m out of the city, things are different in Indiana. I feel… different. My life is just changing a lot, and I wanted to let you know.
Mom: Michael what do you mean? Are you ok?
Michael: Yeah oh yeah, never better actually. It’s just, well I wanted to talk to you about…
Dad: About what Mike?
Michael: Well, hmm. You see in Indiana, people are different. More open to ideas, lifestyles that I was never exposed to before. It’s made me think a lot and I’ve realized some things about myself. It’s like a whole new world has opened up to me, I feel for the first time that I can finally express my feelings as I’ve always wanted to but never could without being scrutinized, laughed at and left out. I want to live my life proudly, without shame. I’ve met some people, that I really love and respect, and I’ve been spending a lot of time with them, especially one, and I just wanted to tell you myself, before you heard it from someone else, that’s all.
Michael’s father takes his hand and looks directly in his eyes.
Dad: Son , you know whatever it is you want to say, we’re here for you, to love you and support you forever, no matter what.
Mom: Of course dear. We always have and always will love you unconditionally.
Michael: No, I know, I just thought I should tell you myself.
Michael’s mother and father exchange a look and prepare for what is coming.
Dad: Well go ahead son, we love you.
Michael: I’m a Republican.
Mom and Dad let go of his hands and stand up in utter shock.
Mom: What?! No!!
Dad: No, son wait, no, you can’t, are you sure?
Michael: (upset) Yes I’m sure, what do you mean am I sure?!
Dad: Well I mean you were always such a nice, caring, thoughtful boy. What happenned?!
Mom: Son sit down, let’s talk, this may just be a phase-
Michael: This is not a phase! I’m a right wing fiscal and social conservative and proud of it.
Mom: Aaaagggghh! (Sobs)
Dad: Now son watch what you say, you are upsetting your mother.
Michael: You know I thought you might be a little surprised but I never thought you would react like this, you always prided yourself in being open minded.
Mom: Well yes Son but come on- a Republican? I mean what happened? Who did this to you!!?? Was it Eric??!! (to husband) I told you I didn’t like that boy!!
Dad: Maybe you should move back home.
Michael: What?!?! No, I don’t want to move back home. I love Indiana and I love the Grand Ole’ Party!
Dad: Now son, you are talking crazy, we are going to talk about this, get some help and work through this together, all right?
Michael: Help?! I don’t need help.
Mom: It’s ok son, we still have Dr. Chang’s number, you remember the nice man who fixed your bedwetting problem?
Dad: Son, I don’t understand. How did this happen. What did I do wrong?
Michael: Nothing!! No one did anything wrong, I’m fine. I’m a fine, happy, healthy, pro-life Christian, God-fearing, Fox news watching, conservative, Bush supporting, NRA card carrying Republican.
Mom: (Gasp!!) Ohhhhh!!!!
Dad: Oh I’ve heard quite enough.
Michael: What is wrong with you?
Dad: It’s what’s wrong with you young man, these “friends” of yours have twisted your mind into thinking what you are doing is actually normal.
Mom: It’s wrong, it’s wrong, it’s unhealthy, it’s not natural. (to husband) This is because of your God damned country music albums!!
Dad: It’s because you breast fed him too long!! I told you…
Mom: You made him eat steak!!!
Michael: Dad!! Mom, just calm down. Everything will be ok.
Dad: It’s not ok. You just pop in here and announce you are a Republican and think we are going to be ok?
Mom: (sob) What are we going to tell the family (sob).
Dad: Oh, the neighbors. The New Equality Club!! (grabs phone) I’m calling Pastor Higgins, Michael get your bag we’re going to get help.
Michael: Dad!! Stop it sit down, calm down. I really can’t believe you guys are reacting like this. I’m happy, healthy, successful, got a great girlfriend, things are perfect for the first time in my life. I know who I am. Why can’t you be happy for me?
Mom: Son, you may think you are happy, but you can’t be, you won’t be for long, oh it’s just wrong!!! (sob)
Dad: Son this just isn’t right, you need to think about what you are doing. Your life. Your future. Your future children…
Michael: You know I don’t believe this, I mean I heard a story like this once on Rush Limbaugh…
Mom: Ahhh! (faints, clutching her chest)
Dad: No!!! That’s it, enough, get the phone, call Dr. Chang, and the Pastor. Call the Call everyone. Call Michael Moore!
Michael face palms.